Heartache, Heavenly Prayer, and a Birthday

Heartache, Heavenly Prayer, and a Birthday

As I write into this piece, I ask the Good Lord Almighty “Hakadosh Baruch Hu, assist me in acceptance of this life you’ve granted me. This life is a bird’s eye view of brilliance. Far above the peaks of snow capped mountain ranges, and deep down into valleys with their glistening rivers I see Your Finger, gently touching, sculpting. I stop to observe, and yet You encourage me on. “Go!” You whisper. “I have greater plans for you.”

I follow downstream, noticing the gently rushing current of the river. It’s more than I can bear to watch’ movement beyond what I care to endure. It moves, ever more. I run, barefoot along the pebbles, pounding along the gravel. I am out of breath and panting. And yet, You urge me on.

I’ve lost all breath. It catches in my throat, as I sputter, going on. The recent run has tired me, and yet I know I must go on. I look Heavenward, and know there is a plan, an elusive ever destined route. Soft sweet grasses pass beneath my feet, intermingling the rocks, as I continue on, gentle bouts of water spurting from the stream forever moving on.

The waters continue on beside me, as I continue on beyond. Sun glistens below, upon the blades of grass, honeysuckle, milkweed. A gentle lapping upon the shore, and yet, there is no rest – I must continue on, for You urge me to continue on.

My footsteps falter in this tired site of beauty. For how can I continue on? You are right here and beside me, yet You urge me only, on,…on,…on….

“Child, take a step. One, and then. Continue on, beyond. Believe.”

“Climb beyond….”

“Take with you the memories of all you see. Build. Accept. And hold Me dear. I am near. I am always near.”

I continue on. One step, two, “Heavenly Father! Direct me! ASSIST ME! I know that you are here and yet I weep. The exhaustion, how am I to go on, and to sustain? I pray from You, Hashem….”

“Just keep on walking.”

I walk, I climb. I’ve left the beaten path. I see stream is far below. Honeysuckle, tall grasses, blinding skies above, and I climb, for I will climb. The sea beyond, with its great caps.

You Greatness, Your Vastness, Hashem, my Lord, I can’t imagine. You have a plan for me. I sink to my knees. And cry. I pray. Help me to continue on; to know You are directing me.

One more year, I’ll build great things. You’ve helped me to each day.